Calling Out To Heaven
by TheCivilState
Summary: Caroline isn't strong enough to handle the grief.  Klaus offers to turn it off, but realizes he can't condemn her to a life of emotionless existence.  He has to give her something to live for.  He has to save her.  "Kiss me again."  Klaroline.


It was late and it was dark and clouds had filled the sky as the sunset, so even the moon couldn't break through the inky darkness. Caroline sat beneath the roof of the gazebo in the center of town, her legs swinging back and forth as she perched on the railing.

Back and forth. Back and forth. In and out. In and out.

If she kept this up, kept up the repetition and the mantra on repeat in her head, she might actually get through this. She might be able to go through with it and come out alive on the other side. Just maybe.

"Caroline?" Her eyes flickered up at the sound of a familiar voice and there stood Klaus, on the steps of the gazebo, watching her. She bit the inside of her mouth and looked away.

"I thought you hated me," she whispered. After all, she had used his obvious affection towards her to betray him. To lead him away from his brother so Alaric could dagger him. Had someone down that to her, she'd be raging, not stoic on the steps of a gazebo in the middle of town on a dreadfully dark night.

"What are you doing out here?" Her mouth quirked up as he took the last couple steps and entered the gazebo. He kept his distance though, leaning against the rail farthest from her as he took in her appearance. She was a deflated mess of ragged curls and rumpled clothes and the look in her eyes made her seem infinitely older than she was. If someone did not come along to help her, eternity would not sit well with Caroline Forbes.

She tried to smile to lighten the situation, but it failed as she held up her phone and waved it in the air as if it explained everything. It didn't though, which meant she'd have to work up the strength to admit to herself what was actually happening.

"My dad," she choked out before having to swallow her tears. It shouldn't matter what Klaus thought of her, but he had called her strong and strong people didn't cry. He dad hadn't cried when he died and he was the strongest person she knew. Had known. Known because he was gone and there wasn't anything she could do to change that.

"I have to make a call," she whispered and her fingers shook as she dialed the number she'd forced herself to memorize in the weeks following her father's death. She'd put this off too long and it was time to honor her father's last request.

She wanted to hang up when a vaguely familiar voice drifted across the line as she pressed her phone to her ear. It was a voice she'd heard a couple times over the years when she'd called her father or when he'd visited. It was a voice attached to a smiling face and a mischievous wink. A voice that had said blondes had the most fun and that Caroline would one day be the prettiest girl in school.

"Steven?" Her voice cracked and she swallowed, biting her lip and crossing her ankles, "It's Caroline. Caroline Forbes." There was a cheer in the voice, a happy, _Oh, Caroline! Honey, how are you? Boy trouble? I'm all ears, you know. _And she smiled a bitter smile because Steven had been nothing but nice to her over the years and now she was going to be cruel and deliver the worst news imaginable.

In that moment, she couldn't do it. She couldn't tell Steven that her father had died of a heart attack and that they'd already had a service for him. She couldn't tell Steven that she'd put off calling for weeks because she wasn't the brave little girl he'd known once, the girl with a yellow bathing suit who ran through sprinklers and begged her daddy to dance with her and climb the tallest trees. She couldn't do it.

Across the gazebo, her eyes landed on Klaus whose face softened as she tried not to cry. But she couldn't keep it all in anymore and she doubled over as her useless, dead, vampire heart constricted and shrivel up like a raisin. There was a warm hand on her knee and another hand pried the phone from her fingers. Her head came to rest against a chest that rumbled as a familiar voice danced through the night.

"Hello Steven, this is Caroline's friend. I'm sorry to inform you that Caroline's father passed away earlier this month after a heart attack. She's been meaning to call you, but-" He paused and when he did, Caroline dug her head into his shoulder as her hands shook against her knees. His hand cupped the back of her head and her fingers dug into the fabric of his jacket as she began to sob.

"Yes," he said, "I was quite the loss. My condolences, Steven." There was another pause and Caroline felt Klaus tuck her phone into her pocket before he wrapped his arms fully around her and held her close.

"I'm sorry," she cried, "I'm sorry about Kol and your mom. I wish I hadn't been apart of it. I'm so sorry." She kept repeating those three words against and against until they blurred with her tears and soaked into his jacket. Klaus continued holding her, rubbing circles into her back as she continued to cry and apologize. Eventually though, she crying stopped and Caroline withdrew, leaning back and staring at Klaus with eyes too weary and too tired for someone as young as she was. He wiped away the stray tears that still clung to her lashes and she choked back what she was feeling.

"How do you turn it off?" It was the broken request of a broken girl and while Klaus had been angry at her involvement in the daggering of his brother, he found he couldn't hate her like he should. There was something too light about her and for the first time since he'd been made a vampire, Klaus didn't want to snuff that lightness out.

"I could turn it off for you," he said, "If you really want." She nodded, tear stained eyes far too tired, body too weary, soul too weighted down. Whatever heart he had left was starting to clench painfully at the realization that this girl, this beautiful girl who was so full of light, was willing to shut her emotions off just to rid herself of the pain. She would sacrifice what was supposed to be a momentous and joyous time in her life for an escape from the agony her spirit was feeling. An agony he thought he too young to experience. And yet, she knew. Death and disappointment and the feeling of not being good enough were close companions. Same as him. And even though he'd offered, he found he couldn't let her turn it all off.

"No," he said and her face fell and her jaw clenched. Was he really so cruel to dangle something like that in her face only to snatch it away? She tried to remove herself from the railing, but he held her firm, hands capturing her head and forcing her to look at him. She was tired, he could tell, but it wasn't the sort of tiredness and good night's sleep could cure. It was a weariness of the soul that only disappeared if you had something to live for. He needed to convince her to live; his blood wouldn't be enough to keep her going this time.

"You won't be excited," he said, "Your friends will come to you with news about a party and you won't care. You'll be able to be cruel to those around you because you won't be able to feel remorse. Your mother will lose a daughter because you won't be the same Caroline she raised. You'll just be an empty shell incapable of feeling."

Caroline tugged at his hands and tried to pull away, but he wasn't letting her go. She needed to understand and for someone who'd lived more than a thousand years, he should be better at convincing someone.

"A boy could kiss you at school," he said and she laughed bitterly because she was Caroline Forbes, neurotic control freak who was always second best. If guys were interested in her, it was either to get to Elena, to pass the time, or they would end up leaving. _A boy could kiss you, _ha.

"You wouldn't feel a thing." She wrapped her hand around his wrist and tugged, but he responded by dragging her head foreword and pressing his lips to hers. She inhaled at the contact and his hands tangled with her hair as he held her close. Her mind was going numb as he literally breathed into her and she could feel a small part of her shriveled heart start to inflate again. His lips ghosted over her mouth, then down to her chin and up along her jaw before coming to rest at her ear.

"Tell me you don't want to feel this," he whispered, "And I'll turn it off. You'll never have to feel again." Her heart, her dead, useless, shriveled, vampire heart actually skipped a beat. She felt it and so did he. He pulled back and stared at her tired eyes and messy hair and smiled because she was the most beautiful creature he'd ever beheld and it didn't matter if that made him sound sappy or weak. He didn't care. All that mattered was the girl looking at him like he had all the answers in the world. Like he was her salvation at the moment and he wanted to deserve that role. He wanted to be her hero. He wanted to show her the world that was waiting for her. He wanted to teach her what others had neglected to about being a vampire and how it wasn't all vervain and bunnies and trying to remain human. He wanted to help her. He wanted to save her.

"Kiss me again," she said and didn't wait before curling her fingers in his hair and pulling his mouth back to hers. This kiss was rougher as Caroline bit his lip and his fingers dug into her sides as he pulled her closer. Her dangling feet hooked around his legs and his mouth dropped to her collarbone as her head fell backwards and her hands clutched at his shoulders. He peppered kisses and love bites along her skin and she could feel her heart painfully unfurl as he reminded her what feeling could be like. She pulled his mouth back to hers and kissed him, breathing back into him the way he'd breathed into her. Maybe, if they kissed each other like this again and again and again, they could breathe each other back to life.

The kiss slowed, Klaus' fingers trailing the length of her hair as he kissed the side of her mouth and rested their foreheads together. All the did was breathe then, one inhaling and the other exhaling so they were breathing each other in and out.

In and out. In and out. Back and forth. Back and forth.

If she kept up the pattern, the mantra, the routine, she might make it through this alive. She might be able to make it through and come out on the other side. Just maybe.

"I'm scared," she confessed and brushed her nose against his, "I don't really know anything about this life I'm living. It feels like there's a manual out there that someone forgot to give me." She laughed then, a small, uneven laugh because her heart had inflated just enough that she could handle it.

"I'll teach you," he promised and she smiled into his cheek as he wrapped his arms around her and lifted her from the railing. Her arms hooked around his neck as his came beneath her knees and he cradled her as he carried her down the steps of the gazebo.

Overhead, the clouds had drifted away and the stars were shining.

**a/n: **Fave, flame, faint. But only if you want to.

oxox.


End file.
